Saturday, June 21, 2008

i'm listening

Today I went to the beauty supply for stuff to make my feet look pretty. There's a spa upstairs, and downstairs in the store a new massage therapist was giving free demo massages. I opted for one, and when she got to working out what she had identified as a trouble area for me (my upper back), I got sick as a dog. I mean sick like Should we call the paramedics? sick. For about 20 minutes, I couldn't move, I was sweating profusely, my stomach was churning, my heart was pounding, and I was hot and dizzy. They brought me water, but I couldn't raise my head to drink it. I could barely speak. I heard the therapist say to one of the store clerks that my body was responding to the rush of toxins the massage had released, and that she thought I'd be okay, but to stay on alert in case I had a seizure. I heard that word, seizure, and started rallying the troops. C'mon, guys, I barked, we are NOT having any seizures in here, so buck up! Not a cell in my body seemed to pay me any mind, and I was so scared I was going to have to be carried out of the beauty supply, when all I'd wanted was nice feet. Finally, I felt the misery lift to the point where I could raise up off the chair, speak, and drink water.

I've never heard of anyone dying from having a massage, but the whole thing really, really blew my mind. I feel healthy, if a bit creaky, and I live under the delusion that I take decent care of myself. Obviously, it's time to step it up. I know I need more balance, and in times when I feel I'm transitioning, it's difficult for me to create it (but vital, seeing as I'm in my 42nd year of transitioning). I get that part of balance is catching up with myself, getting still. I don't think it requires so much, but the running, running, running, through constant mind chatter, is a hindrance. I'm a big believer in the mind-body connection, and I know that whatever was built up in my muscles didn't come entirely from the physical.

Anyway, I want to share this because A) It freaked me out, and B) I know I'm not alone in carrying toxins and emotional sludge around in my body. In working to release all that I can, maybe if I share a few things, and solicit helpful feedback from time to time, someone else will benefit too.

And, for the record, the therapist was ultra-professional, on the case, reassuring, calm, and yes I would go back to her. She told me things about the body and the way toxins move through it that were seriously news to me. Sometimes it's possible to immediately see why things happen, and this is a much kinder wake-up call than cancer or heart disease or some grim joker like that.

13 comments:

Laurie Ann said...

Holy Cow! Who knew a massage could do that? I am never getting a massage again. What with the unhealthy eating and the lifetime of emotional baggage, I'll be dead in seconds.

sappmama said...

Stop it, you! ROFLMAO! Hey, maybe we can reach the point where we can enjoy the finer things like massages and still be able to walk, lol.

yaiAnn said...

OMG! I didn't think the toxins could get you like that! Sometimes it takes a trigger from elsewhere to get you to pay attention to something. I'm glad you were able to pull it together!

travellersyarn said...

I have heard a few stories about similar reactions to massages, and I'm not surprised. I don't know what it says about me that I can not stand any form of massage - if I am really hurt, I will grit my teeth and bear it, but I do not enjoy it one bit.

Adrienne said...

OMG!

Lola and Ava said...

The first time that I had a massage (to fix a pulled muscle in my neck), my massage therapist who is a dear friend told me that would likely happen. I didn't throw up, but it nearly happened and the sweating was profuse. Now, I usually drink about 64 ounces of water in the first two hours after and take 200 ml of ibuprophen about every four hours that day . . . for the bruising. Heather usually has to work so hard on my knots that the bruising is extreme. But, I love how I feel after it!

Anonymous said...

DAMN!!! This is some scary scary scariness. Now it is definitely liver cleanse time for me!

Old girl, I am so glad you came around, I can't imagine what it's like to have your mind alert and your body doing a shut down.
So glad they didn't have to cart you away....

Heather

Ellen Bloom said...

Phew! I'm with Laurie Ann on this one. I'd be dead in seconds. Who knew this could happen? Maybe that's why I don't like massages either. I'm even adverse to the mini-foot massage I've received when I get a pedicure! Double Phew! I'm glad you're OK.

golden star said...

Wow, the power of massage and the power of toxins!

Lilia said...

Really scary but I have heard of stuff like this happening. Time to start on some yoga or meditation or something.

Lilia said...

Really scary but I have heard of stuff like this happening. Time to start on some yoga or meditation or something.

Jennifer said...

This happened to me when I had the thing where they examine your feet (Reflexology maybe?). Nothing till she got to the place "attached" to the gall bladder. PAIN. So go back and have her work through it, you'll feel better.

Frank said...

I trained to be a massage therapist when I was doing hair and we were trained very heavily on toxins and their ability to affect the body, even the body of the therapist!

Nothing to mess around with, but at the same time, nothing to stress about. Take care of yourself, get a professional massage every now and then to work them out, despite the fear, and everything will be fine.

And as you said, and from personal experience, a much kinder wake-up call than cancer!

I'm glad you're going to take better care of yourself my friend. The world wouldn't be as bright a place without you.

xo