Friday, October 10, 2008

284/365

On January 1st, I challenged myself to blog every day of 2008.

I read about Blog365, but didn't sign up for it, figuring I'd keep my commitment mostly to myself. The idea of a year's worth of daily blogging appealed to me for one main reason: perfect attendance. I never had perfect attendance in school, and I always envied the one or two kids who were honored for it at the end of each school year. I secretly believed they had perfect parents, orderly out-of-school lives. I held perfect attendance in higher esteem than I did perfect academic records, which didn't seem so far out of reach.

Daily blogging is my way of reaching for the gold star at the end of 2008. It's already October; I'm almost there.

The perfect attendance students weren't always the academic stars. Sometimes they were just average kids, so average that you'd barely notice they were there every day. I see my posts the same way: sometimes they don't shine, but they're here. Not all of them can be scholars, or win the role of teacher's pet. When you're blogging every day, whatever your reasons, sometimes you post a few from the back of the room.

This transition is hard in ways I never imagined it would be. I don't have words to talk about it, so I haven't. I'm not making anything these days. Not following your blogs like I love to do. I'm trying to find home in a strange place. Trying to make a place for my son, who needs me to mother him more than he has in a long time. Trying not to cry when I realize I can't pop over to Natalie's to watch Tivoed Oprah, or just to hang around with my friend. I've made the choices I've made for good reasons, but it's like the poet said, there's a staying in my going and a going in my staying and all that.

I'll get back to the good stuff. And I'll post it right up here on the blackboard, to share with the whole class. (I've already visited one knitting shop. I bought the same yarn Natalie bought, in the same color, to knit the same project -- love you lots, Natalie.)

In the meantime, there will be a cat, and other mundane things that in posting, I am declaring myself present.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, sending you some huggies. First thing I did this morning was to check the USA map to see where you travelled from to where you are now. Looks like you didn't leave your friends too far behind so take heart, you could always visit...often.
Also looks like you found water again! LOL....

Heather

travellersyarn said...

Good luck with the move - you will kae new friends, and introduce old friends to your wonderful new city.

I love the fact that you blog so much!

Stacy said...

Moving can be a bit rough, can't it? You will, I'm sure, make a ton of new friends. You're just that type... Take care of yourself until you find the Houston family.

j.kaori said...

You certainly have a lot of courage --- I always admire people who not just think about doing something, but actually do it. Looking forward to learning more about Houston through your eyes, and so happy to see that Mira is with you!

Frank said...

Sending you lots of love on your move. In my late 20s I did a similar move, but to LA. Reading your post reminded me of some of those feelings I'd forgotten since I made LA my home.

Until you make your home (I'm not sure it can be found, although there is certainly some discovery involved in making a home) I'm perfectly happy with the mundane.

Oliver sends a snuggle!

xo

woolanthropy said...

purrfect attendance? Phooey to perfect attendance. I always liked playing hooky. I liked the challenge of getting good grades while not being in attendance thus proving the point in my high school mind that school was essentially easy and stupid. But if you want to be the Cal Ripkin of the blogging world. You go for it.

Elbee said...

Didn't mean to be mean about your previous post. My apologies. To be honest, I didn't expect to see a post from you in a bout 2 weeks. Because I remember moving into my new place (10 years ago) and having to wait that long to get all my services (phone, cable, internet) up. Guess technology has improved. Love ya girl! Take it easy. Hey, is Schmin moving to Houston too?