Toward that end, I present Sappmama's Log of Sin, in which I keep track of how I'm doing with one of my most difficult resolutions, #2, the one in which I'm not supposed to talk about people. I figure monitoring my transgressions will help me curb them. Awareness, I am told, is everything. Pragmatism is really at work here. Eventually I'll get tired of counting how many times I gossiped about somebody and shut up.
Yesterday, my first day back at work and therefore my first day back out in the world, where opportunities to dog people abound, I only said one bad thing. It was about how stupid students are for not putting their names on their tests (I mean, come on, two in one class -- of adults?), but that's it. Whenever anyone else said something mean about some absent person, I may have smiled so as to appear sociable (so much of "sociable" is about issuing verbal smackdowns to people we claim to like), but I was quiet.
Today, however, was a different story.
TODAY'S SIN LOG:
- When my boss asked someone to make a snarky remark to a co-worker upon his return from an extended lunch break, the other person refused. And I volunteered. Upon hearing my snarky remark, the leisurely lunching co-worker noted that our boss had gone on one of her own infamous lunches. I heartily backed up his "And just where is she?" with a "And how long will she be gone?" (This is a double, and aptly demonstrates my wily and two-faced side.)
- I tailed the above remarks by adding that my co-worker could always choose to skip lunch altogether and just take naps at his desk, like our president.
- While talking about a recalcitrant student who'd soundly rejected me when I reached out to him last quarter, I declared the kid a stoner and an ass and did a doofless imitation of him using his stock refrain, "I don't know the answer. I'm kinda tired today." Then I said, "Tired? Fuuuck you!"
- While briefing John, my replacement, on a student whose attendance and attitude are, to put it nicely, lackadaisical, I astutely said, "I have never in my life seen anyone so persistent about making a consistently poor effort at doing something."
- I called Amy Winehouse crazy.
- When someone honked at us when Bubs pulled over so I could hobble out of the car, I yelled, "Good for you! You've got a fucking horn! Fucktard!" (This one might have been excusable, had it not been for the fucktard part.)