everything new is old again

Everyone has heard it: We live in a disposable culture. Was it that long ago when reliability was the buzz word of the age? Is Maytag even as dependable as it used to be?

I get that obsoleteness pays in the form of residual profit. The point is to build things that keep people coming back for upgrades and extensions on extended warranties and all the tie-ins and accessories (everything sold separately) and latest versions that the human mind can dream up. But I'm really mothereffing tired of it.

Last year I got a new account from Sprint (never again) and a Moto Razr (or whatever hacked up, retarded spelling the ejits in marketing at Motorola came up with) cell phone. Sprint never bothered to give me the new plan discount on the phone. Every time I called for a credit they'd swear on the lives of their mothers they'd check the account and call me back but they never would and do you know what they do now if you call and complain to them "too much"? They dump you as a customer! Anyhow, the Razr (I can't believe I own something spelled like this), with its ten minute battery life, is more fit for cleaning a toilet than for telecommunication.

But it goes very nicely with my three-year-old Dell Inspiron 1150. I'm typing on it now. It's really helped me up my words-per-minute because I have to keep my fingers moving lest they get scorched by the heat radiating from the defective heat sync up through the keyboard. And, oh yeah, I have to think fast because at any -- and every -- given moment, it cuts off. No warning. No gradual shut down. Just off. I'll bet you can't hit ctrl+s to save your document as fast as I can. Or as often. Before the (extended) warranty expired last month, I could have sent the unit in for repair, but it would've been the second time in a year and the last time they kept it fo-evah. I use it to teach my online classes and I don't have a backup, so I couldn't afford to be without it indefinitely. I'm currently scheming up a way to throw it out the window and buy something else. Though I don't hold out much hope that the new brand (because it sure as hell won't be Dell) won't suck too, I'm looking forward to having it suck in a whole new way to keep things interesting.

Speaking of interesting, I didn't post Eye Candy Friday because I had a crazy busy weekend. I've hung out my shingle as a proofreader/copy editor, and I had my first assignment, from Mister Stevens (he runs his own publishing company because ain't nobody bad like him). I had a manuscript due, and two birthday parties to attend with gifts to make for each. Thursday and Friday it was edit, edit, edit. Saturday morning I made this:

It's a dress from an old Butterick Sew & Go pattern. It's the first thing I've made using a commercial pattern outside of sewing class.

Any dress with fabric this cute calls for a purse, so I made one:

I improvised it using a combo of a purse pattern in one of my sewing books and a Craftster tutorial. It's lined in the same pink polka dot fabric I used to face the dress. It closes with my favorite thing, a magnetic snap.

The set was a birthday present for my friend Andi's daughter, who turned four. Even though I didn't think to ask her (sorry, A!), I have to post this pic of Andi because she's nine months preggers and look how perfectly beautiful she is:

Her due date was Saturday, the day of her daughter's party. I was so tickled that she had the chutzpah to do this. We were all waiting, but the baby (another girl, yay!) didn't make her debut. Andi ran the party with more energy and patience than I would have (kids, a waterslide, barbecue, parents, friends, Romans, countrymen, animals, beer, cake, babies, more kids -- wow). She was a wonder to behold.

After the party, it was a little more edit, edit, edit and then some top secret work on a gift for Ellen, whose birthday was Friday (same as Andi's daughter). I left the project in good standing on Saturday night. On Sunday afternoon, Ellen threw a fun and fabulous soirée at her house. It was grand times and she made out like a bandit with lots of amazing gifts, many of which were handmade by her crafty friends. I would've been in that number, but instead I was giftless. Why? Because my Brother ES 2000 sewing machine...

DIED. There I was on Sunday, in the zone, putting the finishing gloss on Ellen's gift, when it stopped. Cold. It starting flashing an error code, F2. Calmly, I got the manual and looked it up. It said "your machine may be malfunctioning." No shit. I wanted to put a hurtin' on it, but this machine means a lot to me. It was a birthday present last year from my friend Valecia, whom I adore. It's the first machine I've ever owned. Today I went ahead and located a service center. I'll take it in on Friday.

But I'm not going to take this betrayal lying down. In protest against new manufacturing, I copped this off eBay last night:

Picture me Roots style, hobbling up to a clearing in the woods, holding my new machine up to the moon, "I will call you Rosie."

Oh yeah. Take another look. Or ten. I love it so much I hope I don't go all Lennie from Of Mice and Men and squeeze it to death when it gets here.

Not only am I going to use it to make wonderful things, but also to shame Brother into elevating his game.

Whenever possible, I am going to buy things that are at least fifty years old. If I could, I would buy a computer from 1960. It would weigh 300 pounds and take six months to connect to the Internet, but the sucker would run, I'll bet you. It would run until the pigs come home.

(Hi, Kelly from Chicago. I don't have a pattern for Naiomi's tote, per se, but you can use the Jordy tutorial to make one any way you want. Enjoy!)